school

“F***boys”.

It really bothers me that there are guys that have amazing personalities, all over just good guys. THEN, they go and mess it up. As in they don’t know what things are appropriate in public or they just say one thing, ONE THING that ruins everything. Everyone sometimes says something stupid, don’t get me wrong, I totally get that, buy I’m not talking about that. Also, when they act like total douche-bags depending on who they are with.

For example, when a guy brags about drinking, smoking, getting with girls, getting high, or just all out gloating about themselves. I understand that some kids need to escapes their lives because things are bad, I get that it may not be the best way to do that but I mean, I get it. I just feel as though there is such a fine line. Someone that thinks that they have the right to drink or whatever to escape there lives, they don’t talk about it, they don’t brag that they do all these things and the most definitely do not try and talk about it every chance that they get. Yet, I also understand that people try to hide there emotions with other emotions, acting like everything is totally fine when in reality they are falling apart.

It just makes me so sad that there are all these totally amazing guys out there who deserve to have people around them that can positively help their lives, even if it is just being a person to listen because they don’t know what to say to make things better. So now there are these guys out there looking for help in the wrong places, with the wrong people and wrong substances, and all these good people are in their lives and they can’t even see that there are people right in front of them, willing to help them in a different ways. Then they go running their mouths about all these parties and things they did when they were drunk, just how awesome they think everything is because they want you to think that they are happy and then you get so mad that they’re doing all this stupid crap and now they’re standing there bragging about it. You just spent the entire day with them and it has been a wicked long day, they just said they were exhausted, now they’re saying that they can’t wait home so they can go out and go to another party with their other friends. Like, it makes me laugh so hard because the person doesn’t see it so it doesn’t even make sense to get into an argument over it with them.

Then they act okay around you, you see them when they aren’t trying to make them self, well whatever. The person you see in that moment is amazing, perfect to you in every way, but they don’t see it and just as soon as the real them came, it’s gone again and there is nothing that you can do about it. This frustrates me so much, how can they not see how amazing they are? How has no one else been able to get through to them, how?

Suicide.

Ugh, so today I went to a wake. I still live in the same neighborhood that I was born in, actually I moved up the street but my old house still had my grandmother, aunts and cousins. So anyways, when I lived there my brother was friends with this kid two houses over. So when we moved when I was 3, we didn’t really see him anymore. The day after Christmas his brother committed suicide.

I know that this may sound really dumb because I really didn’t know him or his brother. I just, I don’t know, something is just weird and scary about it. I mean you always hear stories and it’s just really weird when it happens so close to home. It’s scary because usually with things like that, you never really think about it happening to people that you know or people that know your family.

I feel so bad for his brother and parents. When I was at the wake a majority of the people there were young kids who were 20 or so because they were his friends or his brothers friends. I can’t imagine going to my friends siblings or even my friends wake, or my brothers for that matter.

I just hope that if any of my friends are feeling depressed or something that they tell me. I’m not really the type of person that is good at giving advice, unless it is a tough love situation, because I don’t really know what I want to hear in certain situations so how am I suppose to help other people? But anyways, I’ll always listen and try to help if I can, even if that means I need to send you to talk to someone else. I just think that a lot of people make the mistake when they don’t know how to help, to keep trying to help, when they are not really helping at all. It’s better to admit that you can’t help the person and take them to someone else that can help then basically doing nothing.

So pay attention to the people around you and if they need help then help to provide it for them in the right way, even if that means admitting that you can’t help because that is helping them to get the help that they need quicker.

I might delete this post later but I don’t know, I needed to vent because it was a really scary thing to happen and this Christmas vacation so many people have died or gone to the hospital. Ugh. I hope everyone else had a great holiday vacation.

Not a normal welcome to 2015 post

Hey, I know everyone says about making the new year theirs, having all of these unrealistic expectations of what they want to happen in 2015. So they tell people their hopes and dreams for the new year, hoping that the people they tell will help them to accomplish everything that they just poured their hearts out about. Up until that point, most people have determination, until that moment after they pour their hearts out because, unfortunately, those people entrusted with those thoughts break down all of that hope the person built up and at that point all the hope, happiness and such just vanishes because someone tells them that they can’t.

Who, besides you, is to say that you can’t do something? No one. People will always tell you that you can’t do something when you really can’t. EVERYONE is afraid that the people around them will be more successful then they are. Don’t let them win, don’t let them set limits on your life. Just because they want to sit back and do nothing does not mean that you have to sit there with them.

Also, don’t be that person holding other people back. Help them, because when that is you, you will want the help.